SPECIAL RESOURCES
The following resources are intended for any survivor of extreme trauma who seeks help. They represent my personal selections.
I invite you to share your own special or favorite resources here.
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Wikipedia offers an international list of crisis hotlines to call (or text, in many cases) if you are depressed, especially if you are thinking of harming yourself or taking your own life.
Wikipedia list of suicide crisis lines
Please note that 988 is the number to call for the suicide crisis helpline in both the U.S. and Canada.
In both countries, 988 can be reached 24/7 by call or text.
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The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) offers a U.S.-based national hotline that you can call or text. It provides support (and a host of resources) for survivors of sexual violence.
The Sexual Assault Kit Initiative (SAKI) is a national organization working toward justice for sexual assault survivors. It offers a webpage of resources for survivors.
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Wikipedia offers a list of national and international domestic violence hotlines.
Note: Although you will also hear the term “gender-based violence,” this term appears to many to exclude same-sex domestic violence (which is just as common as other forms of domestic violence) in addition to men beaten by their female partners (such as my late father-in-law), men in general and children. I therefore prefer the terms family violence or domestic violence.
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The National Human Trafficking Hotline is more than a hotline. Look up the website. You'll find the hotline number (1-888-373-7888) but also a place to chat or text, a TTY number for the Deaf or Hard of Hearing, statistics, fact sheets, resources, ways to report tips and more.
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Psych Central offers a detailed overview called How Does Trauma Affect LGBTQIA+ Communities?
Gender dysphoria is a special case. Did you know that 41% of transgender individuals try to commit suicide? If you are transgender, my heart is with you. Take a look at this online article, Is Being a Transgender Child Traumatic?(My opinion: yes.)
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If you are a survivor of torture, no matter what country you are from, help is available in the U.S. and other countries. For example, Heal Torture provides an interactive map that shows 48 torture survivor treatment programs (“healing centers”) across the U.S.
If you are a torture survivor living outside the U.S., the International Rehabilitation Council for Torture Victims lists its 156 member programs in 76 countries. Perhaps you can find a treatment program near you.
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Complex Trauma Resources provides a stunning array of carefully curated resources for survivors of multiple types of trauma. The resource page is stupendous. It may have the finest list available of books on trauma.
“Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose.”
Community Events and Groups
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International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day is an annual event held around the world to help survivors of suicide loss come together. Two events (one in Spanish) are held virtually, and you can view the live recordings for 2022, 2023 and 2024.
The next International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day will be held Saturday, November 22, 2025.
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Free Monthly Online Suicide Support Group
The Mental Health Association of Central Florida (MHACF) offers a FREE monthly online suicide support group. It meets for one hour on the second Tuesday of every month from 3:00 – 4:00 p.m. ET.
As MHACF writes: “If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, please know that you are not alone. This is a supportive environment where you can safely and confidentially address these emotions in order to find a path towards growth and wellness.”
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Find a Local Support Group
The American Foundation for the Prevention of Suicide (AFSP) offers local support programs and events in all 50 states, Washington, D.C., and Puerto Rico. AFSP’s chapters are devoted to suicide prevention. Their goal is to “create a culture that’s smart about mental health through education and community programs, research and advocacy, and support for those affected by suicide.”
Take a look. Find out if there is a local group or chapter in your community!
FAQs
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Not necessarily. Different hotlines have different rules. But in general, that is a risk. We don’t know how often it’s done.
That said, usually finding police arrive at your home when you call a hotline is a risk only if you trigger the hotline’s criteria for sending emergency services to your door. (See this excellent, if concerning, report on the subject from Trans LIfeline.)
Bottom line: unless you say you have a plan, the means to kill yourself (e.g., pills, a gun or rope) and a specific date and time that you plan to commit suicide (and you won’t promise the hotline counselor not to do so), it is unlikely that a hotline will send the police or emergency responders to you.
But if you’re not sure—just ask the hotline counselor!
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Here is a painful paradox: to heal from deep trauma, most of us have to process it. But processing trauma hurts like hell. It simply does.
And it takes time. Hence the saying, “The only way out is all the way through.” I can’t fix the pain for you. As a survivor myself, I can only tell you the pain gets better (even when you’re sure it won’t). And the more extreme the trauma, the more hellish the journey out can be.
But it’s worth it. The deeper the pain, the more glorious the healing!
You likely won’t believe all this when you’re in active pain. Hang on. Feel. Heal. Believe that healing comes. For many of us, that journey out of darkness takes too much time. But when the pain is over… how wonderful it feels to come out the other side.
Be kind to yourself. And patient. Your healing time will come.
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There is no right or single answer. I wish there was! Every person’s healing-from-trauma journey is unique.